John Lindsey
Dino
The bright blue dinosaur with yellow potato’s. Long, fat and yellow horns. Light purple eyes, that looked like cats eyes. Faster then the speed of sound he walked like a benut butter tabolet no a nice hot frothy summer day. Found a monder bike on the side of the bike he places and apple. Faster then you could say apple sakes. And places and dog on the bike and a bird that was fat and happy because every thing it the world was going her way. For when the was a young bird the was sad and now the was happy on the side sitting head first on a bike and a shopping card that Mr. Dinorsore found on the side of the bike he put on the bike once again. With toe nails of steel and the color or rotten oat meal the Dino spoke with a thick britsh acsent. “You find some fast, food now or I shall eat you and run over you 10 times on my moter bike and stomp on you 111 with one of my toes and eat you up and spit you on to the gound and put you on the side of my moder bike. Like a shot of fast slick lightning the dinosore, with the fast feet and the big toes and feet, ran fast to eat me where I was standing next to a flower. As I stand as fast as can be I looked at a yellow flower with a big on it, fastly I sit down and look at the big evern faster is it ground. BUT WAIT! The Dino is coming fast and I must do what has to be done to get my self out of the dinos charge. As I sit and watch the dino I see him coming like a runner that is fast like the speed of sound with I need to I will sit and watch him coming. Fast I slap the eye hole of the dino with fast hands like monster mango litter box tag and eat him and rub soap on him for fast acting killing power for lost of times I eat soap. And I dug a hole with a moder bike and every one was feed pizza with Canada bacon on it. For master face had taught me well. I laft and said, “Ha you won’t be faster food now dino.” I said with a smile. A smile that warmed my day. Back at home my eating lost time for, I stand and eat bubble gum gravy. Your man is came am here. He came to the door with wide open smile and smile is mine. I said, “Hey give that back or I’z will kill you!” With pointed finger with finger extended touching me finger on his. Was like brother in facts be know faster the we could blink on a cold winter day. We throw down. My mother said don’t throw down in here young me and we did. But she said not and we flining arms on coutch and faster jumping and shot toes and faster punching and I said, “We need to do what we need to take it out to the back of the yard fast.” And we did, that then we swag around trees that that leaves on them and bit them for releaf to the fast editor that kills storys. I fiouhgt the editor fast and we found commen gound. And so I put in chimmny the editor and so that way they would have up and down but no side to side. And that way it would not be messy gound. For my mother was flowering down there. And so I climbed into my bed and thought fast and made a page of a report. And was tired and so I wrote fast to make it perfect like and perfect report should be perfect. Fast and thinking good I found raw thought works fast and thought funnier for a min longer but not all time. So but I found a place to write a report fast and found that people don’t know what spell check is for the boootten was missing for then I went to bed fast like a mouse in a wall of a house with lead fasests.
The End
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Night in the Grass
We aren’t going to breath or touch. Find a crutch sleep or dream to see all the unseen. We are going to sit and wait with water in hand waiting for the sun to rise on mornings command. Smell the due, no fire is made to people have come none, just me in the dark tell dawn.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
So?
So are you just going to keep holding me back foul age. If it isn't for the childest truth of no ears it is the well rounded walk taken out of step and by peddle motion of old.
Friday, February 6, 2009
I can write well.
Writing again, writing again. I snuck into an empty classroom to write this note. Starting to put my ideas down the the screen seems harder then I thought with every dismal minnuet fleeting by. Bound to the place to become something better and still I will not know the true consoences of this continuse fate untell I have found myself in that which is it, continuse fate. So in other words I don't know. I do know lots of things however. I know its raining outside. I know that I am in a place right now that I will not be bothered or told to go away but I also know it is a place I am not aloud to be. I know how to confort a friend and I know when to end it. Maybe I don't know when to end things, I've often thought that I end things too soon. That is to say that I end realationships too soon. But then theres always that voice in your head that says, well if you wouldn't have ended it you would have gotten hurt. I know what its like to be hurt. I know what its like to remember something as if it was yesterday, today, tomarow. I live for tomarow, I know how to do that, I know how to take all my sadness and anger hold it deep insid, put it aside and look forwords to something like tomarow. I know how to forget, forget the futcher and lets the past catch up to the nonexistent now. I know how to write. I know how to love. I don't know how to get a job or fill out a form. I don't know how to spell. But I can write. Yes, I can write well.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Falling For You
He was suave and up standing. Almost seeming to never have a care but still caring all the time. His cast was set deep into his wild hair and cut in its design. This isn't to say he was a skinny man. In the sense of the word when you think of skinny. He was however an attractive man in the odd sense of the term. His name was Nephi and I’ll never forget I found him whistling Dixie at the top of a car port in New Mexico. He was sitting on the edge of the concrete railing swaying back and forth.
Woman:
"Hey, do you need help?"
(Walked over to him)
“Hey.”
Man:
(Swayed so far forward)
Woman:
(Grabs Mans shirt and pulls him back to safety.)
Man:
(Hits the safe ground hard)
Woman:
"Are you crazy?!"
Man:
"It’s about time!"
(Gets up and brushes him self off.)
Woman:
“Are you insane?"
Man:
"I would have never had to do what I did if you would have had half a mind to come sooner. Well not you, maybe someone like you. Some one always has to stop me; tell me I can’t do it. But not this time."
(Back on ledge)
Woman:
"What is that supposed to mean. I am not-"
Man:
"I’ll be asking the questions thank you. First of all, are you real?"
Woman:
“What?”
Man:
“I mean are you a real person? I have to know.”
(Stretches out a hand and tries to touch woman.)
Woman:
“You are being irrational. Stop. Please.”
(Kicks the man between the legs)
Man:
(Falls over)
“Yeah you’re real alright.”
Woman:
(Runs but stops thinks’ about it and feels sorry for the man)
Man:
“Just run away from your humanity. Just leave already.”
Woman:
“No, what are you talking about? I am interested now, you are the one running away.”
Man:
“You know it’s really more of a jump and not a, never mind”
(Stands back up on the edge of the parking garage. And opens his arms like a bird)
Woman:
“You do not have to jump you know.”
(Starts to cry)
Man:
“Are you still there?”
(Arms down looks back)
“What are you doing? Why are you crying for me?”
“Hey you don’t even know me.”
(Goes over to Woman)
“Come on, stop this. There is no need to cry.”
Woman:
(Cries even harder)
Man:
“Hey, hey, why are you crying?”
Woman:
“Because you were going to jump and kill yourself.”
Man:
“Oh no, I wasn’t going to die. I would have… just… it would have been happier.”
Woman:
“You are lying.”
Man:
“Listen; why do you care?”
Woman:
“I do not care about you; I just did not want some one to die in front of me.”
(Cries)
Man:
“Then walk away, I’m going to a better place.”
Woman:
“No.”
Man:
“Why?”
Woman:
“I don’t know-oh-oh-oh.”
(Cries)
Man:
“Hey I’m sorry, ok.”
“Stop”
“Please.”
“I hate it when people cry.”
Woman:
“Can I ask a question?”
Man:
“Really, hey if you want to ask a question just ask it.”
Woman:
“But you said that you where going to be the one asking the-”
Man:
“I did didn’t I. Well think for your self alright. Ask all the questions you want.”
Woman:
“Ok, why do you want to kill yourself?”
Man:
“Hey that’s a little much we would be here all night.”
Woman:
“But you said I could ask a question.”
(Cries)
Man:
“Ok, ok, all I’m saying is we should start out slow. Like you should ask me my name or-”
Woman:
“What is your name?”
Man:
“I really normally don’t tell people my name….”
Woman:
“No, I want to know your name.”
Man:
“If I tell you will you stop crying?”
Woman:
(Nods)
Man:
“My name is Nephi (Ne-fee) please to meet you.”
(Puts hand out to shake. But no response from the Woman other then…)
Woman:
“How do you spell that?”
Man:
“N-E-P-H-I, why does that matter?”
Woman:
“That sounds like Nephi (Neefiye) and not Nepihe (Nepihe) Nepihe would be spelled. N-E-P-I-H-E, not N-E-P-H-I”
Man:
“What does that matter?”
Woman:
“I do not know; I just like spelling things I guess. I am Sara.”
(Giggles, hand out to shake)
“Umm, why where you going to kill yourself?”
Man:
“Oh no, not this again.”
Woman:
“No tell me that is what I would like to know.”
Man:
“No, you are making this really hard. Oh please don’t cry.”
Woman:
(Cries)
Man:
“Hey, hey, if I tell you will you stop crying.”
Woman:
(Looks, nods and wipes eyes, stops crying.)
Man:
“Ok, well I’ve never made it. I’m a failure. Not even good at the things I like to do. Like writing and acting. I could go get a steady job. But that’s not what I want. I’d rather just die.
Woman:
(Gives man a look. Blink’s)
Man:
“You see every one has always told me I couldn’t do it. Even my parents, and I can’t; my spelling and grammar are horrible. I can’t do anything about it. The world doesn’t except me. If I can’t write if I can’t do art to make a living, life isn’t worth living. Don’t you understand?
Woman:
(Blinks and looks)
Man:
“I’ve spent all my money I’m in det. I’ve been partying for 3 weeks strait, if I didn’t want to kill myself then, I would surely want to kill myself now.
Woman:
(Tilts Head)
Man:
“People have killed them selves over stupider things. Wars, bad food, plastic surgery, religion, parking tickets, love, loneliness, bad play writing…”
Woman:
“I get what you are saying. But those are all bad reasons to kill your self. (Beat) Who have you known that has killed them selves over bad playwriting? I mean really, really why do you want to kill yourself?”
Man:
(Man looks up with sadness in his eyes.)
“My lover she was wonderful. I, I miss…She had been in and out of the hospital for 3 years with advance kidney failure. I would bring her my work to look over every time I had something new. She loved it. She was my life line my crutch and I was hers, I thought. When she was sad I would help her. She saw how I was living threw my writing the good and the bad.”
Woman:
“What happened?”
Man:
(Walks back onto the concert railing sits.)
“I should have sheltered her. She wanted me to move on, become something grater then my self, better then I was, almost super human. One day she got sad really deprest and there was nothing I could do. We got in a argument and I left her in the hospital bed crying. I had done it before; some times you just have to… I got that call, she didn’t just die, she could have told me. She did it, signed the papers, she pulled the plug and refused treatment, all with out telling me. I don’t understand it. I have no friends, no family, no one that cares about me, no one-”
Woman:
“I care about you.”
Man:
“You do, but you hardly even know me, why do you care about me?”
Woman:
“I do not know.”
Man:
“You don’t know? Oh, you don’t know. You don’t really care about me do you?
Woman:
“No I care about you.”
Man:
“Right, I’m sure you do. Well then, I’m not going to jump. Never was.”
Woman:
“Really…”
Man:
“Yeah… Yes.”
Woman:
(Hugs Man.)
Man:
(Not embracing hands down in fists holding breath.)
Woman:
“Why, why are you holding you breath?”
Man:
“Force of habit.”
Woman:
“Please Breathe. Before I let you go.”
Man:
“No.”
Woman:
“Yes.”
Man:
(Shakes Head)
(Breathes in)
Woman:
(Lets go)
“Now was that so bad?”
Man:
“No, no it wasn’t.”
Woman:
(Plays with the Man’s collar fixing it.)
“Come sit.”
Man:
(Sits, is very sad, crying.)
Woman:
“First, you did nothing wrong.”
Man:
“I knew it…”
(Stands on the concrete ledge)
Woman:
“My father killed him self.”
(Silence)
Woman:
“My father killed him self when I was 9. He was on the couch and I was in the room with him. He had something to drink in a plastic cup. I remember it was plastic; I crawled up onto his lap and hugged him. I remember his heart was beating like a drum. He started to cry and so we held each other. I asked him why he was crying but I do not remember what he said. I held him until he stopped spasming; until I could not hear his heart any longer. I asked him what was wrong. I made believe that if we held each other just a little longer that he then would start breathing again. We held each other until my mother came in and took me away. I faked sleep so she would not take me away. But she found me there in my father’s arms; and I do not remember anything after that. (Beat) Do you think killing your self will really be what she wants you to do?”
Man:
“Well I-”
Woman:
“If you kill yourself she dies in vain you don’t want that do you?”
Man:
“Well that’s not-”
Woman:
“Let me hear some of your work. I will tell you if it is any good or not, I am an editor after all.”
Man:
“You’re and editor?”
Woman:
“Yes.”
Man:
“Well I have some of my writing right here. I was going to jump with it and…”
Woman:
(Grabs the parchment from the man)
(They share a look.)
Woman:
It was as if in that moment of passion she didn’t exist in my arms any longer. Yes she was there but not fully. And I was alone. Alone once again. But only for a short time longer. Should I still speak? Speak of time, and deeds long since forgotten. Leave the forgotten to the dead. Let them deal pain where pain is due. But the truth, the real fact is, the dead can’t sing. They need us in every single way, in order for them to become forgotten.
And now that I hath done it I can say it. She just stood there alone and I alone with her.
“Is this it?” she asked bare and exposed like a child without a fairytale. Unexpected fear in her eyes. I didn’t answer her. But I did put my hand on her and looked upon her beauty. We left and it was over. In my mind I remember her real. In my mind she is standing before me. In my mind she will never leave me. Standing in my arms embraced, always and forever.
Woman:
“This is...”
Man:
“I wrote it.”
Woman:
“Yes I know you wrote it. But this is horrible. You spelled passion wrong, and embraced is an E not I and...”
Man:
(Looks sad)
Woman:
“It is nothing that can not be worked out.”
Man:
“So you think its ok?”
Woman:
“I think it is better then ok, I think it is great.”
Man:
“Well you sure have an odd way of saying it.”
Woman:
“Sorry. I would love to work with you. If you have more things like this.”
Man:
“I do, lots.”
Woman:
(Giggles)
“I know of this really good coffee shop, over there.” (Points) “Would you like to get a cup of coffee?”
Man:
“I think that would be good right now. What was your name again?”
Woman:
“Sara.”
Man:
“Ok, well Sara should we go?”
Woman:
“We shall.”
(Walks off stage, Woman giggles.)
Woman:
"Hey, do you need help?"
(Walked over to him)
“Hey.”
Man:
(Swayed so far forward)
Woman:
(Grabs Mans shirt and pulls him back to safety.)
Man:
(Hits the safe ground hard)
Woman:
"Are you crazy?!"
Man:
"It’s about time!"
(Gets up and brushes him self off.)
Woman:
“Are you insane?"
Man:
"I would have never had to do what I did if you would have had half a mind to come sooner. Well not you, maybe someone like you. Some one always has to stop me; tell me I can’t do it. But not this time."
(Back on ledge)
Woman:
"What is that supposed to mean. I am not-"
Man:
"I’ll be asking the questions thank you. First of all, are you real?"
Woman:
“What?”
Man:
“I mean are you a real person? I have to know.”
(Stretches out a hand and tries to touch woman.)
Woman:
“You are being irrational. Stop. Please.”
(Kicks the man between the legs)
Man:
(Falls over)
“Yeah you’re real alright.”
Woman:
(Runs but stops thinks’ about it and feels sorry for the man)
Man:
“Just run away from your humanity. Just leave already.”
Woman:
“No, what are you talking about? I am interested now, you are the one running away.”
Man:
“You know it’s really more of a jump and not a, never mind”
(Stands back up on the edge of the parking garage. And opens his arms like a bird)
Woman:
“You do not have to jump you know.”
(Starts to cry)
Man:
“Are you still there?”
(Arms down looks back)
“What are you doing? Why are you crying for me?”
“Hey you don’t even know me.”
(Goes over to Woman)
“Come on, stop this. There is no need to cry.”
Woman:
(Cries even harder)
Man:
“Hey, hey, why are you crying?”
Woman:
“Because you were going to jump and kill yourself.”
Man:
“Oh no, I wasn’t going to die. I would have… just… it would have been happier.”
Woman:
“You are lying.”
Man:
“Listen; why do you care?”
Woman:
“I do not care about you; I just did not want some one to die in front of me.”
(Cries)
Man:
“Then walk away, I’m going to a better place.”
Woman:
“No.”
Man:
“Why?”
Woman:
“I don’t know-oh-oh-oh.”
(Cries)
Man:
“Hey I’m sorry, ok.”
“Stop”
“Please.”
“I hate it when people cry.”
Woman:
“Can I ask a question?”
Man:
“Really, hey if you want to ask a question just ask it.”
Woman:
“But you said that you where going to be the one asking the-”
Man:
“I did didn’t I. Well think for your self alright. Ask all the questions you want.”
Woman:
“Ok, why do you want to kill yourself?”
Man:
“Hey that’s a little much we would be here all night.”
Woman:
“But you said I could ask a question.”
(Cries)
Man:
“Ok, ok, all I’m saying is we should start out slow. Like you should ask me my name or-”
Woman:
“What is your name?”
Man:
“I really normally don’t tell people my name….”
Woman:
“No, I want to know your name.”
Man:
“If I tell you will you stop crying?”
Woman:
(Nods)
Man:
“My name is Nephi (Ne-fee) please to meet you.”
(Puts hand out to shake. But no response from the Woman other then…)
Woman:
“How do you spell that?”
Man:
“N-E-P-H-I, why does that matter?”
Woman:
“That sounds like Nephi (Neefiye) and not Nepihe (Nepihe) Nepihe would be spelled. N-E-P-I-H-E, not N-E-P-H-I”
Man:
“What does that matter?”
Woman:
“I do not know; I just like spelling things I guess. I am Sara.”
(Giggles, hand out to shake)
“Umm, why where you going to kill yourself?”
Man:
“Oh no, not this again.”
Woman:
“No tell me that is what I would like to know.”
Man:
“No, you are making this really hard. Oh please don’t cry.”
Woman:
(Cries)
Man:
“Hey, hey, if I tell you will you stop crying.”
Woman:
(Looks, nods and wipes eyes, stops crying.)
Man:
“Ok, well I’ve never made it. I’m a failure. Not even good at the things I like to do. Like writing and acting. I could go get a steady job. But that’s not what I want. I’d rather just die.
Woman:
(Gives man a look. Blink’s)
Man:
“You see every one has always told me I couldn’t do it. Even my parents, and I can’t; my spelling and grammar are horrible. I can’t do anything about it. The world doesn’t except me. If I can’t write if I can’t do art to make a living, life isn’t worth living. Don’t you understand?
Woman:
(Blinks and looks)
Man:
“I’ve spent all my money I’m in det. I’ve been partying for 3 weeks strait, if I didn’t want to kill myself then, I would surely want to kill myself now.
Woman:
(Tilts Head)
Man:
“People have killed them selves over stupider things. Wars, bad food, plastic surgery, religion, parking tickets, love, loneliness, bad play writing…”
Woman:
“I get what you are saying. But those are all bad reasons to kill your self. (Beat) Who have you known that has killed them selves over bad playwriting? I mean really, really why do you want to kill yourself?”
Man:
(Man looks up with sadness in his eyes.)
“My lover she was wonderful. I, I miss…She had been in and out of the hospital for 3 years with advance kidney failure. I would bring her my work to look over every time I had something new. She loved it. She was my life line my crutch and I was hers, I thought. When she was sad I would help her. She saw how I was living threw my writing the good and the bad.”
Woman:
“What happened?”
Man:
(Walks back onto the concert railing sits.)
“I should have sheltered her. She wanted me to move on, become something grater then my self, better then I was, almost super human. One day she got sad really deprest and there was nothing I could do. We got in a argument and I left her in the hospital bed crying. I had done it before; some times you just have to… I got that call, she didn’t just die, she could have told me. She did it, signed the papers, she pulled the plug and refused treatment, all with out telling me. I don’t understand it. I have no friends, no family, no one that cares about me, no one-”
Woman:
“I care about you.”
Man:
“You do, but you hardly even know me, why do you care about me?”
Woman:
“I do not know.”
Man:
“You don’t know? Oh, you don’t know. You don’t really care about me do you?
Woman:
“No I care about you.”
Man:
“Right, I’m sure you do. Well then, I’m not going to jump. Never was.”
Woman:
“Really…”
Man:
“Yeah… Yes.”
Woman:
(Hugs Man.)
Man:
(Not embracing hands down in fists holding breath.)
Woman:
“Why, why are you holding you breath?”
Man:
“Force of habit.”
Woman:
“Please Breathe. Before I let you go.”
Man:
“No.”
Woman:
“Yes.”
Man:
(Shakes Head)
(Breathes in)
Woman:
(Lets go)
“Now was that so bad?”
Man:
“No, no it wasn’t.”
Woman:
(Plays with the Man’s collar fixing it.)
“Come sit.”
Man:
(Sits, is very sad, crying.)
Woman:
“First, you did nothing wrong.”
Man:
“I knew it…”
(Stands on the concrete ledge)
Woman:
“My father killed him self.”
(Silence)
Woman:
“My father killed him self when I was 9. He was on the couch and I was in the room with him. He had something to drink in a plastic cup. I remember it was plastic; I crawled up onto his lap and hugged him. I remember his heart was beating like a drum. He started to cry and so we held each other. I asked him why he was crying but I do not remember what he said. I held him until he stopped spasming; until I could not hear his heart any longer. I asked him what was wrong. I made believe that if we held each other just a little longer that he then would start breathing again. We held each other until my mother came in and took me away. I faked sleep so she would not take me away. But she found me there in my father’s arms; and I do not remember anything after that. (Beat) Do you think killing your self will really be what she wants you to do?”
Man:
“Well I-”
Woman:
“If you kill yourself she dies in vain you don’t want that do you?”
Man:
“Well that’s not-”
Woman:
“Let me hear some of your work. I will tell you if it is any good or not, I am an editor after all.”
Man:
“You’re and editor?”
Woman:
“Yes.”
Man:
“Well I have some of my writing right here. I was going to jump with it and…”
Woman:
(Grabs the parchment from the man)
(They share a look.)
Woman:
It was as if in that moment of passion she didn’t exist in my arms any longer. Yes she was there but not fully. And I was alone. Alone once again. But only for a short time longer. Should I still speak? Speak of time, and deeds long since forgotten. Leave the forgotten to the dead. Let them deal pain where pain is due. But the truth, the real fact is, the dead can’t sing. They need us in every single way, in order for them to become forgotten.
And now that I hath done it I can say it. She just stood there alone and I alone with her.
“Is this it?” she asked bare and exposed like a child without a fairytale. Unexpected fear in her eyes. I didn’t answer her. But I did put my hand on her and looked upon her beauty. We left and it was over. In my mind I remember her real. In my mind she is standing before me. In my mind she will never leave me. Standing in my arms embraced, always and forever.
Woman:
“This is...”
Man:
“I wrote it.”
Woman:
“Yes I know you wrote it. But this is horrible. You spelled passion wrong, and embraced is an E not I and...”
Man:
(Looks sad)
Woman:
“It is nothing that can not be worked out.”
Man:
“So you think its ok?”
Woman:
“I think it is better then ok, I think it is great.”
Man:
“Well you sure have an odd way of saying it.”
Woman:
“Sorry. I would love to work with you. If you have more things like this.”
Man:
“I do, lots.”
Woman:
(Giggles)
“I know of this really good coffee shop, over there.” (Points) “Would you like to get a cup of coffee?”
Man:
“I think that would be good right now. What was your name again?”
Woman:
“Sara.”
Man:
“Ok, well Sara should we go?”
Woman:
“We shall.”
(Walks off stage, Woman giggles.)
Little Old Girl
Little Old Girl
John Lindsey
***
Girl: You are a 28 year old con artist that looks like you are 12 years old. You have seen lots of things, and you really don’t know what to do with yourself at this point. You don’t know if you want to con any more people, this is the struggle and it’s hard to keep the character of a little girl. You need alcohol. Your mind is full of senseless bible information from Catholic School. You just snuck out of a beauty pageant. You’re world is falling apart, you are in self-destruct mode.
(In a bar, 3 tall bar stools, bartender behind the bar. Bartender is cleaning a glass, smoking his cigarette.)
(Little girl comes into the bar, with a ring of the bell above the door. Looks no more than 12 years old. With a pink puffy dress, big pink bow in her hair white tights, the works. Bartender walks towards the girl as if to say something, but before he can, the girl tries to climb up a tall bar stool and fails. Girl tries a second time, a running start this time, and makes it onto the bar stool.)
Girl:
“Get me a Parallel.”
Bartender:
“Hey I’m sorry but you’re-“
(Old Man enters)
Old Man:
“Hello Frank!”
Bartender:
“Hi Bob, this little girl is demanding alcohol. I, really, don’t, I’ll call the-”
Old Man:
“For God’s sake Frank, I’ll take care of it.”
(Beat)
“It’s ok, I’m good with kids.”
(Beat)
“I have grand kids, trust me.”
(Beat)
“Fine. You deal with it, I’ll be right here to step in if you need any help.”
Bartender:
“Hey honey you have to go-”
Girl:
“Oh, come on you don’t have to throw me out right now, I’m just getting started.”
(Does a strip tease)
“What can I do to get something to drink?”
Bartender:
“Nothing, I mean, what are you doing get down from there.”
Girl:
“Ok.”
(Jumps on bartender kiss him, etc.)
“I’m all pent up from catholic school. Don’t you want to know something about the bible?”
Bartender:
“Yes I mean, No, no not at all. Give me that.”
Girl:
“This is my body given to you. Do this for me baby.”
Bartender:
“Stop that.”
Girl:
“Dun, dun, dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun, dun, dun, dun-dun.”
(Grabs for beer)
Old Man:
“Get down from there!”
Girl:
“What’s wrong can you not handle it?”
Bartender:
“Stop that, stop that right now. AAaaa!”
(Two people come in the bar.)
Bartender:
(Bartender tries to hide girl)
“OK, fine.”
Old Man:
“OK fine, what?”
Bartender:
“You deal with her.”
(People sit down bartender follows getting orders.)
Old Man:
“I really wasn’t saying that I could…”
(Beat)
"Ok. Um…So, do you come here often?"
Girl:
"What does a girl have to do to get a beer around here?!”
Person 2:
“Excuse me is that a girl.”
Old Man:
(Old Man drinks his beer to exactly half full, half empty, however you see it.)
Girl:
“Hey bartender!”
Bartender:
(Drops a glass.)
“Please don’t…Please don’t leave.”
Person One:
“This is horrible, how could you let a little girl in-”
Bartender:
“Its being taken care of…Bob! Is-”
Person Two:
“I don’t care who is taking care of this. This is-”
Old Man:
“Frank is a great guy, you know, there’s no need to-”
[Overlapping Conversation Part 1]
Bartender:
“Frank-”
Person One:
“We are leaving this bar.”
Old Man:
“Bob let me help you out.”
Person Two:
“And we’re calling the police.”
Bartender:
“NO!”
Old Man:
“No, no, she’s, she is my niece.”
Person Two:
“She is?”
Girl:
“I hope I’m not related to you.”
Bartender:
“Um, No, Um yes she is.”
Person 1:
“Alright then have her sit on your lap.”
Bartender:
“What?”
Old Man:
“Alright I will.”
[Overlapping Conversation Part 2]
Girl:
"It tastes like God pissed in a cup.”
[End of Overlapping Conversation]
People:
(People leave the bar.)
Bartender:
“Dam it Bob!”
Girl:
(Girl tries to drink beer.)
Old Man:
(Places a hand over opened end of glass)
"You can't do that!"
Girl:
“Ok fine I’ll pray first.”
Bartender:
“What are we going to do?”
Old Man:
“We, when did this become we?”
Bartender:
“You said you where good with kids.”
Old Man:
“OK Frank, but I’m only helping you out because it’s your first week.”
[Overlapping Conversation Part 1]
Bartender:
“Oh and why the hell did you say she was you’re niece.”
Old Man:
“I know, I know, I was just trying to help you.”
Bartender:
“That is horrible you lied to a costumer. This is horrible…”
Old Man:
“Just trying to help.”
Bartender:
“Help me! How could that have helped me in any way!?”
Old Man:
“Calm down Frank.”
Bartender:
“Calm down, you lied, they are going to call the cops. I don’t want them to call the cops.”
Old Man:
“They’re not going to call the cops.”
Bartender:
“Yes they are I’m sure they are.”
Old Man:
“Fine, sure, fine, ok, sure.”
[Overlap With Top and Bottom.]
Bartender:
“Calm? I need her out of here now!”
Old Man:
“Then you do it!”
Bartender:
“Me?”
Old Man:
“Do it Frank.”
Bartender:
“I’m doing it Bob.
[Overlapping Conversation Part 2]
Girl:
“Lord I pray for this fine day, that you keep the sun away. And if you can't find it in thine heart, Perhaps consider a second start. But if that start not pure, not clean, There is no point. Just let it be.
Forgive me Lord for all my sin, and let me come back again. For if you find me in thine house, fear me not want me out. For tis true when I see your fine works face, I always see your loving Grace. I do covet your creations heart, but want no dingy second start.So here I stand not pure, not clean, wishing for hope, and your love not seen, that you might let me back again. Amen, let's drink!”
(Girl grabs for glass.)
[Overlapping Conversation Ends]
Old Man:
"I said no!”
Bartender:
“Frank!...take care of.. it, she seems to like you better anyway. Besides you, you’re where good with kids right?”
(Bartender and Old Man struggle over beer.)
Old Man:
“If you really want me to do you’re job, I’m going to need this.”
Bartender:
(Bartender starts cleaning glasses, and things that don’t need to be cleaned.)
Old Man:
“Hey sweetheart, what are you doing in a place like this anyway? Don't you have school or something?"
Girl:
“I just snuck out of a little miss beauty pageant to get some beer, or a least some good conversation. I suppose I’ll have to settle for some good conversation."
Old Man
"Are you serious!?"
Girl:
"As serious as you’re asking simply.”
Old Man:
“Well, Why, why don’t you just go back to your parents.”
Girl:
“Because, I'm tense, this life is getting me down. Catholic school is too hard, and I hate beauty pageants. So why don't you let me knock back a couple cold ones? The bible tells me so.”
Old Man:
(Old Man tries to interrupt)
Girl:
Beauty pageantry isn’t all fairytales and unicorns. The flood wiped them all out anyway. But I'm still around."
Bartender:
“Is everything alright?”
Old Man:
“Yeah everything’s fine Frank.”
Bartender:
“Frank I need her out of here now, maybe I better-”
Girl:
“If you touch me I’ll bite off our hard.”
Bartender:
“Ok, well..”
“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do…etc.”
(Girl grabs for beer.)
Girl:
“Come on give it too me you old fart!”
Old Man:
(Girl lunges for glass.)
Girl:
“It's either this or playing in traffic, Gimme!”
Old Man:
"What do you mean by that?"
Girl:
"I mean, if I don't get some release soon I'm going to do something crazy."
Old Man:
"Those are some strong words for a young lady such as yourself."
Girl:
"You have no idea.”
Old Man:
“I-”
“Do you know what it's like to go without alcohol for 12 years!"
(Girl tries to get beer.)
"I'm tense. Do I look tense to you?"
Old Man:
"How old are you?"
Girl:
“12, No 8, its too late now. Hey look.”
(Throws the ribbon to lassoes the beer)
Old Man:
“What are you talking abooouut?”
Girl:
“It’s too late for good grazing. I’ll have to settle for beer.”
Old Man:
“OK, stop this.”
Bartender:
“What’s going on?”
(Has a jar of pickled eggs under one arm, some other gross pickled thing in the other arm. Rag, Cleaner, etc.)
Old Man:
“Everything’s fine frank.”
Bartender:
“Are you sure?”
Old Man:
“Yes.”
“Don’t you miss your mommy and daddy? I bet they miss you?”
Girl:
“I don’t have parents.”
Old Man:
“Then who enrolled you in this pageant that you keep talking about. You are in a pageant are you?"
Girl:
"Oh, those people yeah, I definitely didn't come from them. They are about as square as you can get and about as idiotic as they come. I couldn't stand it anymore, catholic school, had to run away, but one thing is for sure, they're not going to hell. (beat) They go to church and talk of the great, I Am, constantly. As if they know him, bastard that he is. This was a bad family to sign up for.”
Old Man:
“They go to church? Well they don’t sound so bad.”
Girl:
“Bull-shit! A hand basket seems so much more comfortable than a tiny metal eye. Some might say it's a destination that matters and not how you travel, and others might say that the journey is its own reward. All I know is, I just want to travel in style. That is all that matters to me right now. That and getting some beer!”
(Girl lunges for beer.)
Old Man:
"Well, you're not getting any."
Girl:
(Bites the Old Man)
Old Man:
“You little devil!”
Girl:
(The little girl runs.)
Old Man:
“I’m going to kill you.”
Bartender
“Bob, what are you doing?”
Old Man:
“I’m getting this little girl out of here, like you told me too.”
Bartender:
“I thought you said you where good with kids?”
Old Man:
“I am good with kids, good at teaching them to respect there elders.”
Girl:
“You’re no elder of mine old man!”
Girl:
(Runs back toward bar)
Old Man:
“Help me!”
(Bartender and Old Man hold down girl together.)
Bartender:
“Please, some one any one. Call the cops!”
Old Man:
“We don’t need the police, we need an exorcist.”
Bartender:
“Help us!”
Old Man:
“God help us!”
Bartender:
“Please forgive me, Its not my time to go.”
Old Man:
“Be healed!”
(Two cops come in.)
Cop 1:
“Stop!”
Old Man:
“But I’m good with kids.”
Cop 1:
“Hands on your head.”
Girl:
“Thank you for saving me from these bad, bad men.”
Cop 1:
“It’s going to be ok.”
Cop 2:
“Freeze, don’t move.”
Cop 1:
“What’s going on here?”
[Overlapping Text.]
Old Man:
Well Frank, Frank is a good guy, and really nice. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and this little girl came in off the street. Took her in off the street. I don’t know many guys that would do that. Its doesn’t matter where he is he helps people. He’s always willing to put out a hand to a stranger.
Bartender:
I was just standing in hear cleaning glasses and waiting for some one to show up when, this little girl came in the bar. Well I mean I didn’t know she was a little girl at first. I couldn’t see her over the bar. The point is I have been trying to kick her out all this time and she just won’t leave.
[Overlapping Text Ends.]
Cop 1:
“Stop!”
Girl:
(Starts crying)
Cop 1:
“Could you take care of the girl?”
Cop 2:
“Hey honey, its time to take you home.”
Girl:
“But my dollies behind the counter.”
Old Man:
“But she doesn’t have a-”
Cop 1:
“No Talking.”
Cop 2:
“You stay here I’ll get it for you.”
Girl:
“No I’ll get it.”
Cop 2:
“No I’ll get it.”
“Wait, Dick this is her.”
Cop 1:
“What?”
Girl:
“God dam it!”
Cop 2:
“I mean the women.”
Girl:
(Runs for it.)
Old Man:
“Wait.”
Bartender:
“What?”
Cop 1:
“Her!”
(Tackles girl.)
“Get down.”
Girl:
“Fuck You!”
Cop 2:
“Stop resisting.”
(Girls breasts are wrapped under cloths and come undone.)
Girl:
“Bite me you pig!”
Old Man:
“Oh my god.”
Bartender:
“Wow…”
Cop 1:
“We have been looking for you for a long time.”
Girl:
“I want a lawyer.”
Cop 2:
“What made you do it darling?”
Cop 1:
“Yeah why didn’t you go into acting or something, instead of conning unsuspecting people?”
Girl:
“I didn’t want to act like another person; I wanted to be another person! I live a life you could only dream of.”
Cop 1:
“Well you can tell that to the judge, Ha!”
Cop 2:
“Poor Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, Nice people that they are.”
Cop 1:
“How many other people have you conned?”
Girl:
“I’m pleading the fifth.”
Cop 1:
“Not talking hu? Alright take her away.”
Girl:
“Watch the hair.”
(Girl and Cop 2 exit.)
Old Man:
“Wha-What just happened?”
Cop 1:
“You men are lucky.”
Bartender:
“Lucky, what do you mean?”
Cop 1:
“I mean that girl, is a 28 year old women that has been coning unsuspecting parents for years.”
Bartender:
“What, how?”
Cop 1:
“Well what she does is, finds some well off newly wed couple. Shows up on there door step and imitates a little girl. Says she’s and orphan or something along those lines. Then they take her in she takes them for all they are worth. She’s a good con artist one of the best, and this isn’t the first time she’s tried to get alcohol, that’s how we caught her.”
Bartender:
“Really.”
Cop 1:
“Looks like she slipped up this time, they all slip up some time. That is why I said you are lucky. The last few bartenders ended up downtown and you would have too if my partner hadn’t have noticed her.”
Bartender:
(Faints)
Cop 1:
“She’s a good con artist. That’s why you are lucky.”
Old Man:
“Ho my god.”
Cop 1:
“Well not entirely lucky.”
Old Man:
“Why, why is that?”
Cop 1:
“I’m sorry to say I’m still going to have to take you men in for questioning just to be on the safe side.”
(It all ends with the bartender on the ground, the old man panting and thinking vary hard about what just happened. With a wrecked bar and a cop standing in the middle of it.)
John Lindsey
***
Girl: You are a 28 year old con artist that looks like you are 12 years old. You have seen lots of things, and you really don’t know what to do with yourself at this point. You don’t know if you want to con any more people, this is the struggle and it’s hard to keep the character of a little girl. You need alcohol. Your mind is full of senseless bible information from Catholic School. You just snuck out of a beauty pageant. You’re world is falling apart, you are in self-destruct mode.
(In a bar, 3 tall bar stools, bartender behind the bar. Bartender is cleaning a glass, smoking his cigarette.)
(Little girl comes into the bar, with a ring of the bell above the door. Looks no more than 12 years old. With a pink puffy dress, big pink bow in her hair white tights, the works. Bartender walks towards the girl as if to say something, but before he can, the girl tries to climb up a tall bar stool and fails. Girl tries a second time, a running start this time, and makes it onto the bar stool.)
Girl:
“Get me a Parallel.”
Bartender:
“Hey I’m sorry but you’re-“
(Old Man enters)
Old Man:
“Hello Frank!”
Bartender:
“Hi Bob, this little girl is demanding alcohol. I, really, don’t, I’ll call the-”
Old Man:
“For God’s sake Frank, I’ll take care of it.”
(Beat)
“It’s ok, I’m good with kids.”
(Beat)
“I have grand kids, trust me.”
(Beat)
“Fine. You deal with it, I’ll be right here to step in if you need any help.”
Bartender:
“Hey honey you have to go-”
Girl:
“Oh, come on you don’t have to throw me out right now, I’m just getting started.”
(Does a strip tease)
“What can I do to get something to drink?”
Bartender:
“Nothing, I mean, what are you doing get down from there.”
Girl:
“Ok.”
(Jumps on bartender kiss him, etc.)
“I’m all pent up from catholic school. Don’t you want to know something about the bible?”
Bartender:
“Yes I mean, No, no not at all. Give me that.”
Girl:
“This is my body given to you. Do this for me baby.”
Bartender:
“Stop that.”
Girl:
“Dun, dun, dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun, dun, dun, dun-dun.”
(Grabs for beer)
Old Man:
“Get down from there!”
Girl:
“What’s wrong can you not handle it?”
Bartender:
“Stop that, stop that right now. AAaaa!”
(Two people come in the bar.)
Bartender:
(Bartender tries to hide girl)
“OK, fine.”
Old Man:
“OK fine, what?”
Bartender:
“You deal with her.”
(People sit down bartender follows getting orders.)
Old Man:
“I really wasn’t saying that I could…”
(Beat)
"Ok. Um…So, do you come here often?"
Girl:
"What does a girl have to do to get a beer around here?!”
Person 2:
“Excuse me is that a girl.”
Old Man:
(Old Man drinks his beer to exactly half full, half empty, however you see it.)
Girl:
“Hey bartender!”
Bartender:
(Drops a glass.)
“Please don’t…Please don’t leave.”
Person One:
“This is horrible, how could you let a little girl in-”
Bartender:
“Its being taken care of…Bob! Is-”
Person Two:
“I don’t care who is taking care of this. This is-”
Old Man:
“Frank is a great guy, you know, there’s no need to-”
[Overlapping Conversation Part 1]
Bartender:
“Frank-”
Person One:
“We are leaving this bar.”
Old Man:
“Bob let me help you out.”
Person Two:
“And we’re calling the police.”
Bartender:
“NO!”
Old Man:
“No, no, she’s, she is my niece.”
Person Two:
“She is?”
Girl:
“I hope I’m not related to you.”
Bartender:
“Um, No, Um yes she is.”
Person 1:
“Alright then have her sit on your lap.”
Bartender:
“What?”
Old Man:
“Alright I will.”
[Overlapping Conversation Part 2]
Girl:
"It tastes like God pissed in a cup.”
[End of Overlapping Conversation]
People:
(People leave the bar.)
Bartender:
“Dam it Bob!”
Girl:
(Girl tries to drink beer.)
Old Man:
(Places a hand over opened end of glass)
"You can't do that!"
Girl:
“Ok fine I’ll pray first.”
Bartender:
“What are we going to do?”
Old Man:
“We, when did this become we?”
Bartender:
“You said you where good with kids.”
Old Man:
“OK Frank, but I’m only helping you out because it’s your first week.”
[Overlapping Conversation Part 1]
Bartender:
“Oh and why the hell did you say she was you’re niece.”
Old Man:
“I know, I know, I was just trying to help you.”
Bartender:
“That is horrible you lied to a costumer. This is horrible…”
Old Man:
“Just trying to help.”
Bartender:
“Help me! How could that have helped me in any way!?”
Old Man:
“Calm down Frank.”
Bartender:
“Calm down, you lied, they are going to call the cops. I don’t want them to call the cops.”
Old Man:
“They’re not going to call the cops.”
Bartender:
“Yes they are I’m sure they are.”
Old Man:
“Fine, sure, fine, ok, sure.”
[Overlap With Top and Bottom.]
Bartender:
“Calm? I need her out of here now!”
Old Man:
“Then you do it!”
Bartender:
“Me?”
Old Man:
“Do it Frank.”
Bartender:
“I’m doing it Bob.
[Overlapping Conversation Part 2]
Girl:
“Lord I pray for this fine day, that you keep the sun away. And if you can't find it in thine heart, Perhaps consider a second start. But if that start not pure, not clean, There is no point. Just let it be.
Forgive me Lord for all my sin, and let me come back again. For if you find me in thine house, fear me not want me out. For tis true when I see your fine works face, I always see your loving Grace. I do covet your creations heart, but want no dingy second start.So here I stand not pure, not clean, wishing for hope, and your love not seen, that you might let me back again. Amen, let's drink!”
(Girl grabs for glass.)
[Overlapping Conversation Ends]
Old Man:
"I said no!”
Bartender:
“Frank!...take care of.. it, she seems to like you better anyway. Besides you, you’re where good with kids right?”
(Bartender and Old Man struggle over beer.)
Old Man:
“If you really want me to do you’re job, I’m going to need this.”
Bartender:
(Bartender starts cleaning glasses, and things that don’t need to be cleaned.)
Old Man:
“Hey sweetheart, what are you doing in a place like this anyway? Don't you have school or something?"
Girl:
“I just snuck out of a little miss beauty pageant to get some beer, or a least some good conversation. I suppose I’ll have to settle for some good conversation."
Old Man
"Are you serious!?"
Girl:
"As serious as you’re asking simply.”
Old Man:
“Well, Why, why don’t you just go back to your parents.”
Girl:
“Because, I'm tense, this life is getting me down. Catholic school is too hard, and I hate beauty pageants. So why don't you let me knock back a couple cold ones? The bible tells me so.”
Old Man:
(Old Man tries to interrupt)
Girl:
Beauty pageantry isn’t all fairytales and unicorns. The flood wiped them all out anyway. But I'm still around."
Bartender:
“Is everything alright?”
Old Man:
“Yeah everything’s fine Frank.”
Bartender:
“Frank I need her out of here now, maybe I better-”
Girl:
“If you touch me I’ll bite off our hard.”
Bartender:
“Ok, well..”
“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do…etc.”
(Girl grabs for beer.)
Girl:
“Come on give it too me you old fart!”
Old Man:
(Girl lunges for glass.)
Girl:
“It's either this or playing in traffic, Gimme!”
Old Man:
"What do you mean by that?"
Girl:
"I mean, if I don't get some release soon I'm going to do something crazy."
Old Man:
"Those are some strong words for a young lady such as yourself."
Girl:
"You have no idea.”
Old Man:
“I-”
“Do you know what it's like to go without alcohol for 12 years!"
(Girl tries to get beer.)
"I'm tense. Do I look tense to you?"
Old Man:
"How old are you?"
Girl:
“12, No 8, its too late now. Hey look.”
(Throws the ribbon to lassoes the beer)
Old Man:
“What are you talking abooouut?”
Girl:
“It’s too late for good grazing. I’ll have to settle for beer.”
Old Man:
“OK, stop this.”
Bartender:
“What’s going on?”
(Has a jar of pickled eggs under one arm, some other gross pickled thing in the other arm. Rag, Cleaner, etc.)
Old Man:
“Everything’s fine frank.”
Bartender:
“Are you sure?”
Old Man:
“Yes.”
“Don’t you miss your mommy and daddy? I bet they miss you?”
Girl:
“I don’t have parents.”
Old Man:
“Then who enrolled you in this pageant that you keep talking about. You are in a pageant are you?"
Girl:
"Oh, those people yeah, I definitely didn't come from them. They are about as square as you can get and about as idiotic as they come. I couldn't stand it anymore, catholic school, had to run away, but one thing is for sure, they're not going to hell. (beat) They go to church and talk of the great, I Am, constantly. As if they know him, bastard that he is. This was a bad family to sign up for.”
Old Man:
“They go to church? Well they don’t sound so bad.”
Girl:
“Bull-shit! A hand basket seems so much more comfortable than a tiny metal eye. Some might say it's a destination that matters and not how you travel, and others might say that the journey is its own reward. All I know is, I just want to travel in style. That is all that matters to me right now. That and getting some beer!”
(Girl lunges for beer.)
Old Man:
"Well, you're not getting any."
Girl:
(Bites the Old Man)
Old Man:
“You little devil!”
Girl:
(The little girl runs.)
Old Man:
“I’m going to kill you.”
Bartender
“Bob, what are you doing?”
Old Man:
“I’m getting this little girl out of here, like you told me too.”
Bartender:
“I thought you said you where good with kids?”
Old Man:
“I am good with kids, good at teaching them to respect there elders.”
Girl:
“You’re no elder of mine old man!”
Girl:
(Runs back toward bar)
Old Man:
“Help me!”
(Bartender and Old Man hold down girl together.)
Bartender:
“Please, some one any one. Call the cops!”
Old Man:
“We don’t need the police, we need an exorcist.”
Bartender:
“Help us!”
Old Man:
“God help us!”
Bartender:
“Please forgive me, Its not my time to go.”
Old Man:
“Be healed!”
(Two cops come in.)
Cop 1:
“Stop!”
Old Man:
“But I’m good with kids.”
Cop 1:
“Hands on your head.”
Girl:
“Thank you for saving me from these bad, bad men.”
Cop 1:
“It’s going to be ok.”
Cop 2:
“Freeze, don’t move.”
Cop 1:
“What’s going on here?”
[Overlapping Text.]
Old Man:
Well Frank, Frank is a good guy, and really nice. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and this little girl came in off the street. Took her in off the street. I don’t know many guys that would do that. Its doesn’t matter where he is he helps people. He’s always willing to put out a hand to a stranger.
Bartender:
I was just standing in hear cleaning glasses and waiting for some one to show up when, this little girl came in the bar. Well I mean I didn’t know she was a little girl at first. I couldn’t see her over the bar. The point is I have been trying to kick her out all this time and she just won’t leave.
[Overlapping Text Ends.]
Cop 1:
“Stop!”
Girl:
(Starts crying)
Cop 1:
“Could you take care of the girl?”
Cop 2:
“Hey honey, its time to take you home.”
Girl:
“But my dollies behind the counter.”
Old Man:
“But she doesn’t have a-”
Cop 1:
“No Talking.”
Cop 2:
“You stay here I’ll get it for you.”
Girl:
“No I’ll get it.”
Cop 2:
“No I’ll get it.”
“Wait, Dick this is her.”
Cop 1:
“What?”
Girl:
“God dam it!”
Cop 2:
“I mean the women.”
Girl:
(Runs for it.)
Old Man:
“Wait.”
Bartender:
“What?”
Cop 1:
“Her!”
(Tackles girl.)
“Get down.”
Girl:
“Fuck You!”
Cop 2:
“Stop resisting.”
(Girls breasts are wrapped under cloths and come undone.)
Girl:
“Bite me you pig!”
Old Man:
“Oh my god.”
Bartender:
“Wow…”
Cop 1:
“We have been looking for you for a long time.”
Girl:
“I want a lawyer.”
Cop 2:
“What made you do it darling?”
Cop 1:
“Yeah why didn’t you go into acting or something, instead of conning unsuspecting people?”
Girl:
“I didn’t want to act like another person; I wanted to be another person! I live a life you could only dream of.”
Cop 1:
“Well you can tell that to the judge, Ha!”
Cop 2:
“Poor Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, Nice people that they are.”
Cop 1:
“How many other people have you conned?”
Girl:
“I’m pleading the fifth.”
Cop 1:
“Not talking hu? Alright take her away.”
Girl:
“Watch the hair.”
(Girl and Cop 2 exit.)
Old Man:
“Wha-What just happened?”
Cop 1:
“You men are lucky.”
Bartender:
“Lucky, what do you mean?”
Cop 1:
“I mean that girl, is a 28 year old women that has been coning unsuspecting parents for years.”
Bartender:
“What, how?”
Cop 1:
“Well what she does is, finds some well off newly wed couple. Shows up on there door step and imitates a little girl. Says she’s and orphan or something along those lines. Then they take her in she takes them for all they are worth. She’s a good con artist one of the best, and this isn’t the first time she’s tried to get alcohol, that’s how we caught her.”
Bartender:
“Really.”
Cop 1:
“Looks like she slipped up this time, they all slip up some time. That is why I said you are lucky. The last few bartenders ended up downtown and you would have too if my partner hadn’t have noticed her.”
Bartender:
(Faints)
Cop 1:
“She’s a good con artist. That’s why you are lucky.”
Old Man:
“Ho my god.”
Cop 1:
“Well not entirely lucky.”
Old Man:
“Why, why is that?”
Cop 1:
“I’m sorry to say I’m still going to have to take you men in for questioning just to be on the safe side.”
(It all ends with the bartender on the ground, the old man panting and thinking vary hard about what just happened. With a wrecked bar and a cop standing in the middle of it.)
Gay Truth
There is magic all around us and the best thing to do is not say anything at all. That’s sad, that is a sad existence. But its true you are a better person for holding it on in, in the eyes of the Earth, the rock we are standing slightly sleepy and stone face as ruff as winter. I find myself in this mystical place with all eyes on me, as we all feel, and found that I will not ever be happy until I become something worth wile to myself. What that is I may never know a fate permitting choice of cores trails and hard work. But with so may distractions harping you back to chill like dependences and sloth like dialectic behavior. So that's what I need to do find the magic and become a man. How gay the truth is.
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